picture day, 2nd grade

Starting a new rotation at the hospital inevitably brings me back to my first day of second grade: sitting in the middle of a classroom full of people speaking only English, while I only knew how to speak Spanish.  New rotations are a lot like that… I find myself clueless and incompetent and a lot like those around me are speaking a foreign language. My first few days in Sister Patty’s class were spent napping, because I pretty much had no idea what was going on.  But by the end of the week, I had memorized the morning prayer and knew what to do when I heard the phrase: “Please take out your ______ books.”  And by the end of the second week, I spoke English.  I’m dead serious.  It’s what happens when you put your kid in school in a foreign country without asking them for their opinion.

My life at the hospital is a lot like that.  At first I’m lost.  Within a few days, I catch my bearings.  And within two weeks I feel in my element, and I do my job well.  Like when I first started working on the wards.  It’s the 2 week Sister Patty effect.  It is, usually, all it takes.  Usually.

Then I rotated through Hematology and Oncology.  You know, kids in sickle-cell pain crisis and with cancer.  And I waited and waited for my 2 week threshold for enlightenment, but it never came.  Because cancer SUCKS.  And monitoring elevated blood pressure in a 9-year-old on Cyclosporine sucks.  And controlling chemotherapy-associated nausea with 5 different drugs at the same time sucks.  And figuring out what part of the coagulation cascade Fondaparinux acts on sucks.  And coming back from your one day off to realize your patient’s full head of hair is now bald sucks.

Needless to say, I did not memorize the coagulation cascade, nor all the side effects of Cyclosporine…  Nor the protocol for monitoring tumor lysis syndrome, nor how to stage Burkitt’s lymphoma.  But I did realize that my liver works.  And my bone marrow makes red cells and white cells that are the right shape and size, and function in my body the way they are supposed to work.  When I take a deep breath I don’t start coughing.  And I can chew and swallow because my mouth and esophagus are not covered in ulcerated sores.  If I’m thirsty, I can drink a gallon of water and my kidneys know to pee it all out instead of letting the water collect in my lungs.  If I get a cut, my platelets make sure I don’t bleed forever, and make a nice little crust that keeps it from getting infected.  When I walk up the stairs, my heart beats faster so I don’t get lightheaded, but when I get excited, I don’t become hypertensive.  And I am fortunate to be able to say that the same goes for my brothers, and my parents, and Jeffrey…  My biggest complaint in the world is that my alarm goes off at 4:30 in the morning.  So yeah, I guess Heme/Onc did, in a BIG way, enlighten me after all.  And kids fighting cancer are the bravest, strongest, most awesome teachers in the world.

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